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Tyler Bales
In Life Lessons, , Open Mind

Issue 09 – The Inner Voice

“Everything can be taken from a person but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”

– Viktor Frankl (Holocaust Survior)

I first read this quote in the book “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” and it’s stuck with me ever since.

To be honest it’s kind of annoying. Not the quote, the fact that it won’t leave my head.

Mainly because it’s right and really drills home that you’re in control at all times. It reminds me to honest with myself when it’s easy to let the emotions take over.

You always have the ability to choose. Choose wisely.

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The Inner Voice Explained

I’ve talked about this before but wanted to give a little more background on what’s happening and why.

Inner speech is thought to have evolved as a way for us to communicate with ourselves. It allows us to plan, reflect, and solve problems. This voice is believed to be a tool that enables the manipulation of information in working memory which is essential for a wide range of mental processes.

That’s a lot to say it allows us to talk to ourselves. It can be used as a way to plan, solve problems, reflect on our thoughts and feelings, and as a way to regulate our emotions and behaviors. Again it’s a tool for us to use.

If you were interested in where in the brain your voice is. It’s believed to be closely linked to the development of language, as it allows people to organize their thoughts and ideas into coherent sentences, much as they would when communicating with others.

There is also some evidence that inner speech is related to self-awareness, self-regulation, and self-evaluation.

In short, inner speech is thought to be an important cognitive tool that allows people to organize their thoughts and plan for the future, it’s also related to self-awareness, self-regulation, and self-evaluation.

Knowing this can hopefully make you see how important it is for that voice to be a positive one. To have a realistic view of the world and also be optimistic about what you desire.

“The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts.”

– Marcus Aurelius

“HEAD ON APPLY DIRECTLY TO THE FOREHEAD”

If you were old enough to have seen this commercial on tv your back probably hurts and you grunt when you bend over. Congratulations we’re old. lol

You can find the commercial online but the product was designed to alleviate the headache their commercials caused. Don’t quote me on that.

Oddly enough now that I’m older I still experience “HEAD ON” only it’s from a slightly different perspective.

Whenever I’m faced with something difficult that emotion of fear starts to arrive. But since I know it’s natural and can be both helpful and harmful depending on how we deal with it, I can decide what I will do with this emotion.

Although it is tough, one of the most effective ways to manage fear is to confront it head-on. By facing our fears and working through them we can gain a sense of empowerment and control over our lives.

Lean into the hard parts of life but don’t do so blindly.

“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.”

– Seneca

Search for Meaning

In this rare clip from 1972 Viktor Frankl, legendary psychiatrist and Holocaust survivor, delivers a powerful message about the human search for meaning.

Video Length: 4:21

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Wrapping up:

  • You always have the ability to choose. Choose wisely.
  • The inner voice is a very powerful tool. Use it positively.
  • One of the most effective ways to manage fear is to confront it head-on

That’s all for now.

See you next week!

Tyler Bales

Tyler Bales
In Discipline & Motivation, Life Lessons, , Open Mind

Issue 08 – Tripped at the starting line

Tripped at the starting line

This issue is hitting your inbox late, I’m sorry.

I’ve been traveling the past couple of days and at least in California it’s been pretty stormy with more on the way. The time I thought I would have to write this week’s issue didn’t end up happening.

That’s okay, that doesn’t mean all is lost.

It simply means an adjustment to the plan is needed. Just rolling with the punches.

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The order matters

This time of year everyone appears to be in growth mode. Or at least that is the intention everyone seems to have when talking about how they want this year to turn out.

You start to see gyms, hiking & biking trails all getting more crowded with people. Everyone working on the goals they set this year. Staring strong and pushing hard.

Unfortunately, a large percentage of people won’t be able to sustain this effort long-term. Many will be back to where they started in 1-3 months. And I don’t say this as a dig towards them at all.

We’ve all seen it though. Hell, we’ve all experienced it or are experiencing it in one way or another now.

Why? Why does this always seem to happen?

It’s because the order of how you do things matter. You don’t put your socks on after your shoes for instance. Before you can do anything thats truly sustainable “outside” yourself you need to have a strong foundation inside yourself.

How’s that inner voice? How do you treat yourself when you make a mistake? What words do you choose to say? How about when you make a BIG mistake?

Life is constantly changing. Which means things aren’t going to go according to plan. You’re going to fail. Not all the time but quite often.

How you treat yourself when you do is the pinnacle of success. The words you choose to say to yourself matter. Choose them wisely.

If someone you loved failed or made a simple mistake would you say to them the things you tell yourself?

Courage & Reason – an antidote to fear

Courage is the ability to confront and overcome fear. Especially in the face of danger or adversity.

It is a quality that allows us to stand up for our beliefs, even when it is difficult or unpopular to do so. Courage is an essential virtue because it allows us to live a life of authenticity and integrity, rather than being swayed by external influences or the fear of others.

Reason is the ability to use logic and critical thinking to make decisions and solve problems. Reason is a key virtue because it allows us to think for ourselves and make informed decisions, versus being influenced by emotions or external influences. By using reason, we can come to understand the true nature of things and make choices that are in line with our values and goals.

Remember you’re in control of your mind. Together, courage and reason are essential qualities that help us live a life free from fear.

A detached perspective

Adopting a detached viewpoint enables you to see the world for what it is. Making it easier to respond to it wisely.

In his famous work “Meditations,” Marcus Aurelius wrote:

“Everything that happens is either endurable or not. If it’s endurable, then endure it. Stop complaining. If it’s unendurable… then stop complaining. Your destruction will mean its end as well.”

This means that a change in perspective can help us to endure hardship and suffering. To see difficult experiences as opportunities for growth and learning. A chance to lean in.

When we do this we need to consider the bigger picture. Focusing on the long-term consequences of our actions, rather than getting caught up in short-term desires or pleasures.

Start to work on cultivating a flexible, open-minded perspective. One that allows you to adapt to changing circumstances and to see the world in a clear and unbiased way.

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Wrapping up:

  • Work on eliminating your negative inner voice
  • Choose courage & reason in the face of fear
  • See the world for what it is

 

That’s all for now.

See you next week,

Tyler Bales

Tyler Bales
In , Open Mind

Issue 07 – Happy New Year

“Fear takes over the part of your brain protecting you and plants limiting beliefs trapping you in a growth-less cycle.”

People think there is one place in the brain dedicated to focusing. In actuality. focus is a combination of events occurring in different parents of the brain.

For instance, the prefrontal cortex, the front of the head, is where decision-making, problem-solving, and planning take place. This area works together with other brain areas including the parietal lobe and the basal ganglia, to regulate and control attention.

In addition to the prefrontal cortex, the thalamus also plays a role in focus and attention. The thalamus is a brain structure located deep within the brain that acts as a sort of “gatekeeper,” filtering out stuff we don’t care about and helping us to focus on the things that are most important.

I know, I know, “lobe”, “cortex” “thalamus” – these are some weird words to be taking in first thing in the morning.

The key takeaway here is that the brain is not one big muscle working alone for thinking. Instead, it’s made up of different parts across two sides (left & right) working together for you. Or it can run on autopilot with the one goal of keeping you, and itself “safe.” And safe doesn’t always mean comfortable.

When we start to learn and understand the brain that becomes our first step to being able to control it. What I find interesting is how fear comes into play in one of these areas involved with focus.

The prefrontal cortex is also an important part of the brain when it comes to our memories. The ability to remember something is a navigation tool built into our bodies. I can remember being in first and second grade getting rides home from my friend’s parents.

I didn’t know how to get home using the street names but I could tell you how to get home using visual markers along the way. It would go something like this,

“Go down this street and you’ll see a McDonald’s on your right. Make a right turn at the light after the McDonalds…”

All the way home.

Back to the prefrontal cortex. Unfortunately, because this part of the brain is fundamentally a survival tool it can be hijacked by fear and be used against you.

How does this happen?

By becoming a silent alarm system warning you not to try anything new simply because you might fail. Fear takes over the part of your brain protecting you and plants limiting beliefs trapping you in a growth-less cycle.

You can reverse this. You can erase these limiting beliefs. Move past memories that are keeping you from growing. It won’t be easy; you won’t be the same person when you finish. That’s the goal.

  1. Voluntarily bring your limiting beliefs or fears to the top of your mind (one at a time).
  2. It has to be voluntary. Construct a plan that will help you get through the issue or solve the problems.
  3. Act out that plan.

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Short one this week.

End the year strong with your head up high. You made it.

Use the next few days to “take a breath” and get yourself aligned for the new year. 2023 is going to have it’s ups and downs and you’re going to be equipped to handle it all.

Happy New Year!

See you next week,

Tyler Bales

Tyler Bales
In Life Lessons, , Open Mind

Issue 06 – Season of Change

Thank you for following The Patterns Newsletter. It means a lot to me you’re supporting my new path.

This will be the last newsletter that carries that name. The branding will change but the message will stay the same. The new direction is more in line with myself and will be of greater benefit to you as well as future subscribers.

What is it?

For a year or so I’ve had an idea of how I wanted to help people and the message I want to share. Over time this phrase developed in my head that encompassed everything I wanted to teach.

strong-not-safe

I started to see how impactful this message can be when communicated well. And that’s where this newsletter comes in.

I’ll help show how learning to be strong, not safe is the foundation for living & thriving in today’s world.

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Happy Holidays!

Family and spending time with those you love is very important this time of year. Another important thing to do this time of year is to reflect. Remind ourselves of all the not-so-good times we’ve experienced this past year. Why?

To take time to acknowledge the fact you made it through them all and are here today. Things may not be exactly where you want them to be right now.

That’s okay.

Appreciate the effort you put into the last year. It was tough. You pushed through and are still going.

“Treat Yo Self!”

If you haven’t heard it lately, I’m proud of you for showing up every day this year. The best way you could.

And I appreciate you taking me on your journey.

Focus

In issue number 4, we talked about positive emotional attractors or “PEAs” and their effects on focus. Having a positive outlook, although at times tough, has many positive effects on focus.

Here are four quick things to keep in mind about the power positivity has this holiday season:

  1. Positive thinking reduces stress and anxiety: A positive outlook can help to reduce stress and anxiety, which can be major distractions that interfere with our ability to focus. When we’re feeling stressed or anxious, it’s harder to concentrate on a task or thought.
  2. Positive thinking increases motivation: A positive attitude can also increase our motivation and drive, which can help us to stay focused on our goals. When we believe in ourselves and are excited about what we’re working towards, it’s easier to maintain our focus.
  3. Positive thinking improves mood: A positive outlook can also improve our mood, which can make it easier to focus on the tasks at hand. When we’re feeling good, we’re more likely to be able to concentrate and stay engaged in what we’re doing.
  4. Positive thinking increases resilience: A positive attitude can also increase our resilience, or our ability to bounce back from setbacks and challenges. This can help us to stay focused and motivated even when things don’t go as planned.

Having a positive outlook on life can help us to stay focused, motivated, and engaged in the goals that are important to us.

It’s not always easy to maintain a positive attitude. There are many strategies we can use to maintain a more positive outlook.

It’s about finding ways to manage stress and negative emotions in a healthy way.

Fear

Fear can be irrational and based on our own doubts and insecurities.

In these cases, fear can hold us back and prevent us from taking risks or trying new things. It’s difficult at first but this response to the fear stimulus is manageable.

Try to recognize that these doubts and insecurities are thoughts and not reality. You are in control always.

By facing our fears and taking small consistent steps to overcome them, we gain confidence and become more resilient. We’re able to press mute on fear in most cases.

Fear can be both a positive and a negative emotion, depending on how we respond to it. There’s that control again – our ability to choose.

It’s important to recognize when fear is helpful and when it’s holding us back, and to take steps to manage it in a healthy way. It’s a tool and one you control.

We have to take the time to sit with it and learn its ways.

Perspective Shift

Building off of last week…

If everything is connected does that mean life isn’t just something that happens to us?

Life is THE opportunity to learn and grow.

Taking an active role in shaping our own lives and striving to become the best version of ourselves every day. Having this perspective helps view challenges and setbacks as opportunities for growth.

To find meaning and purpose in our experiences.

This perspective isn’t the easiest. It gets missed by some people because it requires a proactive approach to life and a willingness to take ownership of our own growth and development.

It also involves being open to new experiences and perspectives, while being willing to challenge our own assumptions and beliefs.

However, adopting this perspective is rewarding. It will help live a more fulfilling and meaningful life.

We’re all learning, we’re all growing that’s life.

Bonus Content

“The universe is in us”

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Wrapping up,

  • We’re transitioning to Strong not Safe
  • Positive outlooks are very powerful
  • Doubts & insecurities are not reality
  • Life is the opportunity to learn & grow

That’s all for this week. I hope some of these concepts help you.

Thanks for reading & see you next week.

Tyler Bales

Tyler Bales
In Focus, Life Lessons, Open Mind

5 Steps to Stop Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is a common problem that can have a damaging effect on a person’s mental health and well-being.

It involves the inner critic or voice that tells us we are not good enough, that we will never succeed, or that we are not worthy of love or happiness. This voice can be incredibly powerful, and it can shape our thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors in negative ways.

The problem with negative self-talk is that it is often based on false or distorted beliefs, and it can prevent us from achieving our goals and living a fulfilling life. When we engage in negative self-talk, we may feel anxious, depressed, or defeated, and we may struggle to believe in ourselves or our abilities. This can lead to a downward spiral of negative thoughts and emotions, which can be difficult to break free from.

Negative self-talk can also impact our relationships, our careers, and our overall quality of life. It can make us less confident, less assertive, and less able to enjoy life and connect with others.

It can also create a negative feedback loop, where our negative thoughts lead to negative actions, which then reinforce our negative beliefs about ourselves.

So, what can we do to stop negative self-talk and improve our mental health and wellbeing?

Here are five actionable steps that anyone can take to reduce negative self-talk and increase self-compassion and self-acceptance:

1. Notice and label your negative thoughts

The first step in reducing negative self-talk is to become aware of it. Pay attention to your inner critic, and notice when it is telling you negative things about yourself. When you recognize a negative thought, label it as such, and remind yourself that it is not a fact, but just a thought.

2. Challenge and reframe your negative thoughts

Once you have recognized a negative thought, try to challenge it and reframe it in a more positive or realistic way. Ask yourself if the thought is based on evidence or facts, or if it is just an assumption or a distortion. Try to replace the negative thought with a more positive or balanced one.

3. Practice self-compassion

Negative self-talk often stems from a lack of self-compassion and self-acceptance. To reduce negative self-talk, try to be kinder and more understanding towards yourself. Remind yourself that you are not perfect, and that it is okay to make mistakes or feel imperfect. Treat yourself with the same compassion and care that you would offer to a friend.

4. Take care of yourself

Another important step in reducing negative self-talk is to take care of yourself. This could involve engaging in self-care activities, such as exercise, meditation, or creative hobbies, or it could mean setting boundaries and saying no to things that are not good for you. By taking care of yourself, you can reduce stress and increase self-confidence, which can help to reduce negative self-talk.

5. Seek support

If negative self-talk is interfering with your daily life and causing significant distress, it may be helpful to seek the support of a mental health professional. A therapist or counselor can help you to develop strategies to manage your thoughts and emotions, and improve your overall mental health and wellbeing.

Overall, negative self-talk is a common and harmful problem that can have a negative impact on our lives. But by recognizing and challenging our negative thoughts, practicing self-compassion, taking care of ourselves, and seeking support, we can reduce negative self-talk and improve our mental health and wellbeing.

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I hope some of these concepts help you.

If you want me to cover a particular topic, have any questions, or want to say hello, please reach out to me here!

Thanks for reading.

Tyler Bales
In Focus, Life Lessons, Open Mind

3 Steps to Listen to the Universe Better

Listening to the universe can be a difficult process, but it can also be incredibly rewarding. By tuning into the universe, we can gain insight into our lives, our purpose, and our paths.

Here are a few tips for how to listen to the universe better.

Get Quiet

Create some stillness in your life.

Try to find some quiet time each day, even if it’s just for a few minutes. Use this time to meditate, pray, or just sit quietly and observe. The universe will often speak to us through our thoughts. Create some space to listen

Pay Attention

Once you’ve created some stillness, start to pay attention to the signs and messages the universe is sending you. These can come in many forms, from people you meet to events that occur in your life. Pay attention and be open to the possibilities.

Trust Your Gut

Whenever you receive a sign or message from the universe, it’s important to trust your gut. Listen to your intuition and take action on the things that feel right to you.

 

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I hope some of these concepts help you.

If you want me to cover a particular topic, have any questions, or want to say hello, please reach out to me here!

Thanks for reading & see you next week.

Tyler Bales

Tyler Bales
In Discipline & Motivation, Focus, Life Lessons, Open Mind

5 Steps to Manage Overthinking

Overthinking is a common issue that can affect many aspects of our lives. It often involves excessive worry or rumination about a particular situation or decision and can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and difficulty in making decisions.

One of the main problems with overthinking is that it can be a self-perpetuating cycle. We may start by worrying about a certain situation, and then our thoughts spiral out of control, leading us to become even more anxious and unable to see things clearly. This can make it difficult to make decisions, take action, or move forward in our lives.

Overthinking can also have negative effects on our mental and physical health.

It can lead to increased stress levels, which can have a range of negative consequences for our bodies, including increased blood pressure, headaches, and digestive issues. It can also impact our mood, leading to feelings of hopelessness, sadness, or frustration.

So, what can we do to stop overthinking and break this cycle?

Here are some actionable steps that anyone can take to reduce their overthinking and improve their mental health:

  1. Recognize the signs of overthinking: The first step in addressing overthinking is to recognize when it is happening. Pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, and notice when you start to ruminate or worry excessively.
  2. Challenge negative thoughts: Once you recognize that you are overthinking, try to challenge the negative thoughts that are driving your worries. Ask yourself if these thoughts are based on facts or evidence, or if they are just assumptions or fears. Try to replace negative thoughts with more positive or realistic ones.
  3. Take action: One of the best ways to stop overthinking is to take action. Instead of just worrying about a situation, try to do something about it. This could involve making a decision, taking a step towards solving a problem, or seeking help or support from others.
  4. Practice mindfulness: Mindfulness is a powerful tool that can help us to quiet our overactive minds and focus on the present moment. Try practicing mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation, to help you calm your thoughts and reduce overthinking.
  5. Seek professional help: If you find that overthinking is interfering with your daily life and causing significant distress, it may be helpful to seek the support of a mental health professional. A therapist or counselor can help you to develop strategies to manage your thoughts and emotions, and improve your overall mental health.

Overall, overthinking can be a frustrating and harmful habit that can have negative effects on our lives. However, by recognizing the signs of overthinking, challenging negative thoughts, and taking action, we can break the cycle and improve our mental health and wellbeing.

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I hope some of these concepts help you.

If you want me to cover a particular topic, have any questions, or want to say hello, please reach out to me here!

Thanks for reading & see you next week.

Tyler Bales

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