Tyler Bales

This week my wife and I had planned to go visit her family in Tahoe for Thanksgiving. The night before we got a call from my father-in-law letting us know that the entire family was sick. He told us it was our call but might not be the best idea for us to come.

This was a bummer.

My wife and I were looking forward to getting out of town and spending time with the family in Tahoe. At the same time, we got over being sick not too long ago and wanted no part in getting sick again.

We decided to stay. We started brainstorming ideas on what we could do now that we’d be in town for the weekend.

As luck would have it, Southern California received a nice fall swell for the entire week. We ended up spending time at the beach each morning. I was taking advantage of the fun surf. My wife was enjoying the crisp clear fall weather walking our dog across the beach.

My favorite things happening at once. Bliss.

As I type this now the weather has shifted. Clouds are coming in, and the surf is bad. I am grateful for the time we got to spend at home this Thanksgiving. Which is the point of Thanksgiving in the first place.

To enjoy time spent with those you love.

1 Focus Concept – Big ideas & aha! moments

There are some instances in life where focus is a bad thing. Not a bad thing but the wrong tool for the job.

Have you ever been doing a mundane task like taking a shower or walking the dog when a solution you’ve been struggling with comes into your mind? Or moments when the perfect response to the question you got earlier in the day pops into your head while you are watching a familiar show?

This isn’t random. There is science behind this phenomenon. I’ll share more in-depth information on what’s happening here in another post.

For now, understand that if you’ve put a lot of sustained focus on something it’s good to also take some time away from it. This space might be the shift you need to keep moving forward or get around the problem in front of you.

As I mentioned in previous issues, focus is a muscle.

Muscles need to rest to grow.

1 Thought on Fear – Ego fueled by fear

Our egos love to drive for us and fear is the energy they need to do it.

I’m mindful of my ego. I don’t focus on my ego but am more aware of when it’s slipped into the driver’s seat. Aware of the signs that show up when my ego is around. Unfortunately one of the signs is when I am feeling a little too good.

It feels good to let your ego drive for a bit. Your ego can get you results you might otherwise couldn’t. So why not let our egos control everything all the time?

I’m sure even reading this you know it sounds wrong. You might not be able to explain it but you know deep down the ego isn’t the best driver.

Are you familiar with your ego? Are you letting it drive a little too much?

Do you know how to tell?

1 Perspective Shift – Who is <insert your name here> ?

(There is no perfect answer here but I hope you get the concept of this exercise)

Try this exercise.

If someone were to ask you,

Who is <insert your name here> ? What would you say?

Write down your answer or remember it in your head.

…

Does it start with your career, your title at work? How close to the top are your accomplishments? Does your answer have anything about you in it?

It took a while for me to get here but my answer is something like this:

“Hi, I’m Tyler. I’m a kind, hard-working person who loves his wife and family. I enjoy helping people grow and coaching people and businesses to achieve their goals.”

My answer may not be perfect but it does touch on one concept here.

Make sure you are not tying your identity to things that won’t matter when you’re old.

(The ego hates this)

Bonus Content – Andrew Huberman Tips

Here is a Toolkit for Sleep designed by Andrew Huberman.

You thought you’d get another issue from me and I wouldn’t mention sleep?

HA!

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Wrapping up,

• Focus is a muscle & needs rest to grow
• Ego loves fear
• What is your identity tied to?

That’s all for this week. I hope some of these concepts help you.

If you want me to cover a particular topic, have any questions, or want to say hello, please reach out to me here!

 

Thanks for reading & see you next week.

Tyler Bales

Thanksgiving is coming up this week. And this year we’ll be spending the actual day with my wife’s family. Because of that, my parents invited my wife and me over for an early Thanksgiving dinner this past weekend.

My mom still put out thanksgiving games like she would if it were the actual day and yes, I won the turkey race this year.

Thank you, thank you.

When we sat down for dinner and after we told the same stories we tend to always tell. <3 We started talking about how the body burns calories and uses energy. How that varies per person.

For instance, chess players during a tournament can burn up to 6,000 calories while sitting.

6,000 calories!!?

That’s pretty crazy to me. It shows how powerful the brain is. How efficiently it can run the body to complete the task at hand when trained enough.

…Meanwhile, my brain lost the phone in my hand the other day so I got that going for me.

1 Focus Concept – Are you on autopilot?

Like everything in life, the brain has its limits. The brain will need to rest and the body will need to consume back the calories lost.

When the brain is in this state, let’s say a “low energy” state it’ll shift into a sort of autopilot mode to recover. So awesome it knows to do this. Autopilot operates more from an emotional or feeling-based position. This requires little interaction from the brain so it can rest and recharge.

A downside of being on autopilot is that you are more capable of becoming influenced in this state. And what does the average person do when they are in a low-energy state?

Pull out their phones, turn on the tv, and go on Reddit. Basically surrounding themselves with tons of modulating forces while trying to relax.

Like walking through a field of land minds with your eyes closed. Can you make it across without setting one off? Sure. Is it likely you’re going to set one off less than 3 steps in?

..lol

So how do we fight this from happening in the first place? It goes back to what we talked about last week. Sleep. Did you try working on it? How did it go? What new things can you tweak to get even more out of your sleep?

It’s a core foundation of growth and tackling life’s challenges. I’ll always encourage you to focus on sleep and the quality you are getting.

It’s not only my opinion either. I’ve studied depression, anxiety, happiness, relationships, and even finances, all have a need for good sleep.

Don’t sleep on this fundamental foundation! …I’ll stop.

1 Thought on Fear – Fear has two sides

Building off of last week and talking about fear as a hidden feature within us. I took some time to look back on moments of fear I’d experienced recently and noticed something.

Fear has two sides. At least two sides.

What I mean by this is I noticed that some of the fear I’d experienced had some pretty great things on the “other side.” I had to use a little bit of logic and guts to get past the fear. When I did some pretty great experiences were waiting on the other side.

Can most people see the other side of fear?

Getting there is a whole different conversation.

1 Perspective Shift – Other people need your energy

The human experience is, at large, interaction with humans.

As babies, our brains are firing with new neurons looking to make connections. Over the course of your life, you will have around 100-150 genuine connections with people.

We seem to be able to gain energy from these connections. Like some exponential resource of energy with us our entire lives.

Try to make some new connections or call up an old childhood friend this week. Someone might need your energy now, so you can gain some in the future.

Bonus Content – Thought Exercise

If you feel lost or don’t feel the sense of “you” try this.

Take a few moments to get into a calm state of mind. You can close your eyes if you’d like.

Think back on your life to when you felt the most you. Aim for when you felt fulfilled and when you felt you were feeding your soul.

Even clients with the toughest pasts have found something to hold on to. It doesn’t have to be big. Sometimes we have to push past the initial “I’ve got nothing” before progress happens. A few quiet moments pass and I hear,

“I remember laying on my dog in the backyard reading in the sun.”

We use that as a foundation for a sense of self and grow upon it from there.

I do this exercise with my clients. Give it a shot sometime. A nice quiet space uninterrupted would be ideal.

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Wrapping up,

• Notice when you’re on autopilot
• Fear has two sides
• Other people need your energy

That’s all for this week. I hope some of these concepts help you.

Have a great Thanksgiving!

If you want me to cover a particular topic, have any questions, or want to say hello, please reach out to me here! I’ll be posting content there daily as well.

Thanks for reading & see you next week!

Tyler Bales

1 Focus Concept – “Where you look is where you go”

Developing our focus “muscle” is a very useful skill to start mastering.

Focus is valuable. Not only to ourselves but also to others. If outside energy can command your focus for periods of time, let’s say in an ad, it can be very profitable for them. But if you can learn to control and pay attention to your focus you can use that energy to grow yourself.

So how do we begin to work on focus?

Try understanding what focus is or where it starts.

“There are a lot of things that will modulate your focus but they don’t mediate your sense of focus.” – Dr. Huberman

Modulate is anything exerting a modifying or controlling influence on. In the example above, the modulating factor is how successful the ad is at grabbing our attention.

Mediating in Dr. Huberman’s quote is used in the technical way meaning “to bring about a result.”

To make this simple,

Modulate = out of our control
Mediate = within our control

We want to start with things we can control – mediate. Later we’ll dive into the nuances of the things we can’t control and how we can influence in those areas.

The biggest thing you can do to start getting in control of and maintaining your focus is to get good sleep. This will vary from person to person. Good sleep often comes down to more of the quality of sleep we are getting vs the duration of your sleep.

The other aspect we want to start being aware of is that your brains focus follows your visual focus. Better put “where you look is where your mind goes.” When your eyes and head are up looking forward it triggers the brain to become more focused and alert.

A good example would be what happens when we are reading a good book or watching our favorite movie.

Like working out a new muscle, we can’t start lifting heavy right away, we need to work up to it. For now let’s work on:

• Getting good sleep as consistently as possible.
• Understand the difference between modulate and mediate within the realm of focus
• Observe where you’re looking, or where you are not, and how that impacts your thoughts or behavior.

1 Thought on fear – An untapped built-in feature?

Is fear built-in us as a way to get what we want out of life?

Think about it, how many times have you “had a bad feeling” about something and it turns out to be true? How many stories have you heard about how someone didn’t do something for “some reason” only to find out later following that “random” feeling benefited them?

Are we able to predict things before they happen?

Does it only work when it’s about something negative?

1 Perspective Shift – Simple & Easy

I’ve noticed that people often mix up the terms simple and easy. This can lead to a lot of confusion and bad expectation setting.

The concept of golf is simple – get this small ball into this larger cup. Seems easy! In actuality getting the ball in the cup is not easy whatsoever. For starters the cup is 500 yards away, there’s a bunch of water in front of the cup, and oh yeah you can’t touch the ball with your hands. Good luck!

How much of your energy is being spent looking for the easy way to do simple things? Is that helping you get to where you want to go?

Bonus Content – “Money & Fools”

This song came on while I was listening to a playlist this morning. I thought the messaging was very inline with what I want to help people with.

Give it a listen. (I have no connections to this artist or spotify)

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Wrapping up,

• Learn the areas you can control with your focus
• Is fear a feature built in us?
• Things may be simple, it doesn’t mean it will be easy.

Thats all for this week. I hope some of these concepts help you.

If you want me to cover a particular topic, have any questions, or want to say hello, please reach out to me here! I’ll be posting content there daily as well.

Thanks for reading & see you next week!

Tyler Bales